Sibling rivalry shouldn’t last into adulthood. It’s O.K. if you’re three and you want mother to give the baby back and it’s O.K. if, as little kids, you take a swipe or two at each other.
However, if you’re an adult and can’t, don’t, or won’t get along with one or more of your siblings, that’s not O.K. Why? Because you’re busy wasting time when you can take a look at yourself and see just what the problem is, quick, grab the mirror.
First, decide if it’s worth it to stay estranged from a sibling just because you don’t like them in some way or another. If you don’t like them because they are racist, bigots, you probably have a good reason to stay estranged. If you don’t like them and don’t speak to them because they hurt your feelings or didn’t remember your birthday or doesn’t do as much for mom as you do, or brags too much and works too little, you might want to reconsider your attitude.
Life if short. No, really short. Your brother or sister or both are the only ones you get and your mother kept all of you alive because she loved you, which must mean something.
Do you need to swallow your pride and reach out? Do you need to be the one who should be eating a bit of humble pie?
What did they do to you that was so awful you’d spend the rest of your life pretending they don’t exist? If they didn’t do something that should get them life in prison you need to decide whether or not you can be the bigger person and reach out or would you prefer licking your wounds, which no one knows about except you?
I’m not suggesting for a moment you all become best friends. I’m just suggesting that, since they are the closest blood relatives you have besides your parents, you might want to reconsider what you’re doing and why. And I bet that what you’re doing more than smacks of a whole lot of pride you don’t want to let go of because you, of course, are always right.
This is where you get to shine. Recognize that your sibling is just as easily hurt as you are and that your sibling believes you are the one who did something to cause the rift and that you, being a conscious and reasonable person, have the opportunity to swallow your pride and understand what happened from your sibling’s point of view. Drop the attitude and see them for who they are, just human, frail like you, sometimes lonely, sometimes frustrated, always with flaws that you can overlook. Your sibling won’t. Is it worth it?