Summertime & Big Thighs Are Getting You

O.K. So this is the twentieth or seventy-fifth summer you’re approaching. No matter what the number is, what’s the ratio between the number of summers you’ve lived and the number of summers you’ve felt terrible about your body when you realize warm weather is coming, and the baggy sweatshirt just isn’t going to do it, and you’ve gained the weight you vowed you wouldn’t gain through the holidays and during the rest of winter. Now you’re either going to have to stay drunk, so you don’t feel horrible about your very large thighs in shorts or learn something new. I know it’s easier to stay drunk, but after drinking it away for a time, eventually, drinking doesn’t work. Then you’re stuck with enormous thighs and a drinking problem. The new thing to try? Stay away from the booze. It only makes you stupid or stupider. Face it. You porked out all winter, and now you feel sorry for yourself. Why? You can do all the porking out you want. It’s your life. If, on the other hand, you really are sick and tired of the same old song, just a different day, then take my coaching advice. Put yourself on a plan. NOTE: I did not say diet, because they don’t work. The plan is you eat what you want but in much smaller portions. Never eat unless you feel hungry or want to munch on something, which would be like air-popped popcorn without butter, fifty calories a cup. Most importantly, do not wake up the sleeping eataholic by letting yourself get hungry. Eat reasonable things that you like, in small amounts, all day and night and do not get hungry. Suck it up and find the courage to do what you know you need to do. Face yourself. Look straight into the mirror, tell yourself the truth, that you don’t like yourself very much or at all, and that you are beginning a practice of learning to love yourself starting now. The first step is practicing mindful eating but not dieting. The second step is to venture out with your thunder thighs, wearing shorts, to expose yourself to the new reality and that is that people don’t like you, love you, dislike you, based on what your body looks like. Ask any model if he or she thinks being a glamorous model has made their lives happier and you will get a loud,“No!”

You are liked/ loved for the person you are, if you would just be the person you really are without hiding or feeling embarrassed, without trying to be the person you think other people want you to be, you will discover that you’ve been worked up over nothing except your own self-judgment. Knock it off, and go buy some shorts.